now der me in my baby hse.. ystd gort myself landed in hospital cos i had i very bad bad headache! plus my baby is in camp no one to look after me .:[[ sadd. morning woke up although the headache wasnt dat bad already but had a little so called conflict with my baby leonard.. still over the same tingy. TRUST.gort over upset with it,took my medicine and drank volka .my mother came in the room and saw dat red face of mine ask me why , and my reply was i drank . and of course she ask why? cos of leonard. he dun trust me. she scolded me ''crazy arh ? early morning gort urself drank when ue just woke up. '' who noes nort long after she left my room, baby called me and ask me wad im doing? i told hym im in my room. he ask me did i drink .at first i told hym i dint cos i dint wan hym to get angry .but he surely noe dat im lying .. he told me to stop drinking and stop behaving lyk crazy. well, abit sad dat he seems to be quite mad abt me..but its common .cos i drank. after dat went to his hse called hym but he dint pick up my call cos he is doing his CSO.msg hym telling hym i reach ler he sae later called me bac but i couldnt take it so i went to slp .. pass the fone to marcus and ask hym to hep me pick up any call and if my baby called tell hym i slp 1st wait for hym to come bac.. dats it! suddenly i found myself falling deeper for hym. alot of ppl sae if really loving hym would make me suffer den they would rather i leave hym . they also sae after all the choice is up to me. if i want to carry on they also cant sae much.. after the whole dae i spend tinking, i found i cant. i cant leave hym cos i loved hym im sure.. maybe i just hav to learn how to tolerate tings dat i dint ever overcome in my lyfe. give in to hym more , listen to hym.. but will he everr notice dat iim doing alot for hym. i dunn wan anyting from hym .. i only want hym to care more for me, love me more and most importantly, dun leave me .. i noe he reads my blog.. at tymes i hope after he read he will understand me more ? i dunnoe.. getting more and more irritated by my family. i hate them more and more each dae.. they sux.. do i really deserve tis kind of parents? they dun understand me at all .. all they noe is money.. wad else do they noe ?nothing.. i really THANK them for giving me an UNFORGETABLE childhood memories.. haiish.. now my baby is beside me playing game.. haiish .. nothing to do.. just now his mother accidentally drank my volka! OMG! IM IN DEEP SHIT !!!!!!! baby must be angry with me! arghh ..how stupid im to leave tis on the table! wad to do now! im lost .. aiiyo idiot stupid foolish me!!!!!!!!!!!! hate myself at tymes.....